How to let go of failures that keep haunting you

Written by Alex Poeter

We can all remember experiences from our past where we screwed up a project or we judged ourselves for not achieving a goal. Often these experiences keep getting in the way of living to our full potential because it feels too unsafe to fully step into "the work that's ours to do". Our protective mechanism keeps trying to protect us from experiencing pain again by making us overly cautious. This stops us from living into our bigness and authenticity as leaders. But that's what the world needs right now more than ever: Your courage, gifts, and leadership. Here is an approach I've found quite helpful when it comes to removing this kind of barrier.

What if our past experiences are not really "real"? When we’re triggered by remembering a painful experience, our past feels as real as the present moment because what we feel in our body in that moment feels the same as during the painful experience in the past. But of course this is an illusion: The past is the past. We’re just reliving a memory – we’re not experiencing something that’s happening in real time. Imagine what would be possible if those painful experiences from your past could no longer interfere with your current efforts? Yes, those painful memories could still get triggered. But instead of giving them power to control your actions and decisions, you could just step back and watch the memory "pass through your system" without getting caught up in it, analyzing it or treating it as "real". The more you do this, the more the intensity of these memories will dissipate. It’s like a plant that dies when you stop watering it.

I know this is a big concept, but I've seen many talented people hold themselves back because they keep living inside their painful memories from the past. And instead of fully utilizing their strengths and talents to realize their dreams, their fear of getting hurt again keeps them stuck in a pattern of "playing small". I've been there myself a number of times; I'm speaking from personal experience. So, I want to invite you to consider:

What would you do this year if memories of painful experiences from your past could no longer hurt you?

I truly believe that you deserve to give yourself permission to let go of these memories so you can more fully live into your true purpose and potential. Do you?